Fantasy author Nicole Peeler celebrated an author friend of hers, Juliet Blackwell, on December 2nd. The cause for the celebration: Juliet had a book (Dead Bolt) coming out and Nicole wanted to let us all know about it. Juliet writes “cozies,” those mysteries with the sometimes painfully punny titles that let you know the book may have murder in its pages, but it also has pathos and humor and likeable characters. Cozies are often set in parts of our world that we don’t normally associate with murder, and there are usually multiple titles in that same setting ( i.e., a yarn store, a bakery, a restaurant, and – in this case – a home-renovation site).
What you don’t normally find there is much sex. Romance, yes. But the erotic? Not so much.
So Juliet and Nicole decided to run a contest in the comments section of that post, soliciting hypothetical titles and an equally hypothetical sales pitch for a new genre: erotic cozy mysteries.
Four people were chosen to receive prizes: 3 honorable mentions and one winner.
And, yep, I was the first honorable mention!
Here is my prize-winning submission:
Rub One Out: A Massage-Parlor Mystery (A mafioso’s feckless nephew is found dead, but smiling, in a massage parlor run by a competitor… and new masseuse Touchée Yourbum has oil on her hands. It’s up to her fellow masseuse, amateur detective Happy Ending, to prove there’s no blood on those delicate-but-strong digits, too.)
I can’t wait to see what the prize is! I’m hoping for a copy of one of Juliet’s books.
I came up with a second entry in my massage-parlor mystery series, but it didn’t win a prize. Wanna see it?
Sure you do!
So here’s the non-prize-winning entry:
Unhappy Ending: Another Massage-Parlor Mystery (Happy and Touchée team up to find out who tainted a batch of erotic oils with LSD, after a pair of tripping and very naked frat boys run out of the parlor, screaming about evil succubi… and right into the path of a city bus. The bad publicity – who said there’s no such thing? – threatens to close the parlor permanently and seriously shrink the girls’ income stream, unless they can solve the case pronto.)
It was a lot of fun coming up with these concepts and, who knows, I may have to undertake one or both of these naughty tales one day. Do ya think there’s a market for them? (Massage-parlor lobbies probably don’t have a lot of non-picture books in them, so that’s one place I wouldn’t think to find them.)
This content was cross-posted on my other blog: Write, Knit, Read, Purrrr.