Monthly Archives: January 2014

Lasses’ birthday ditty

Before last year’s Hoggetowne Medieval Faire, I wrote a tune and lyrics for my wench troupe, Just Desserts, to perform for any men in the audience who were celebrating their birthdays. It came to me very quickly and was, in fact, the first song I’d ever written.  It’s cute and catchy (and posted below somewhere), but it can help us commemorate the special days of only the males who were stupid brave enough to let us know about their birthdays.

The ladies were left out in the cold.

Now there’s nothing we wenchy types hate more than a woman being left out of something good, so I vowed to write a birthday song for the fairer sex… and nothing came to me. Several times. For months.

And now that the 2014 faire is just around the corner (Jan 25-26, Jan 31-Feb 2), my time running out, I have finally put pen to paper** to write the following:

Lasses’ Birthday Ditty

Today you’re a wench,
You’re a saucy, flirty wench.
All the world is now at your feet.

What will you do?
It’s entirely up to you
As a new year of life you greet.

Have some laughs. Have some drinks.
Give the lads some naughty winks.
Take a nap. Catch your breath. Repeat.

(spoken by Cupcake***): Now, girls, don’t overwhelm the poor lass!

Do what you will
With whoever fits your bill,
As you celebrate your favorite way.

There’s a secret wenches know,
And now on you we will bestow
As our gift to you this special day:

Whether single or a wife,
With a healthy lust for life,
You can be a wench every day.

© 2014 Toni Finley All Rights Reserved

** Yes, I scrawled the first draft on the back of a (photocopied) crossword puzzle. I would’ve felt silly – or perhaps paralyzed – if I’d opened a Word doc for such a short piece. That would have been waaaaay to much pressure, ya know?

*** Cupcake is the name of the wench character I play. She’s my sweet, silly, flirty, naughty alter ego, and I love her!